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Step #1

Join company which uses Scrum/Agile methodology with flat hierarchy

Step #2

Make sure to pick only following tasks:

  • Easiest ones so you are able to accomplish at least something when the times are tough (no one is willing to help you)
  • Potentially long running ones for which various justification reasons/issues can be reported along multiple days or weeks

Step #3

Ask for “a moment”. Choose helping person (HP further on) among your team members. Approach person either physically or virtually and announce your request for help.

Step #4

Start from the most abstract question which is there. “How can I achieve <goal of the task>?”

Step #5

If HP refuses to help and advises you to think on your own, try playing novice/beginner role (will become increasing challenging with each consequent year). Consider asking for help another HP. To avoid suspicion of other members use chat software to conceal number of times of such questions.

Step #6

Use answer for the first question to formulate follow up questions of less degree of abstraction. If answering the question requires thinking/clarification/actions (such as usage of computer) try your best to involve HP into doing actual work for it. If successful you will get one step closer to finishing the task and perfect update for next stand-up with HP backing you up on it effectively.

Step #7

If task proves itself hard, delegate it straightaway. Again, summon novice/beginner role to make HP agree to that. Additionally state your intent to start working on the next one the first thing you will do.

Step #8

Do positive reinforcement to HPs who agreed to help. Propose accidental treats and sweets for that. Laugh hard when somebody makes a joke.

Step #9

Unfortunately you need to be present physically during meetings. So make sure you do look involved. Nod from time to time, especially when most of the people in a room do. When given chance consider taking a photo of whiteboard with carrying/thoughtful impression, regardless of its content (even if it was written there before meeting itself).

Step #10

When task is finally completed, claim your credit. Omit as much as possible the HPs who helped you and time it took. If task scale is at least bigger than trivial make sure to announce it to nearest reachable managers.

Step #11

If you progressed with the task at least slightly (and ideally spent some time with one of HPs) consider calling it a day. At least officially. Feel free to use your mobile phone extensively, do courses, educational activities, read news etc. That being said, make sure to have work-in progress look and feel at your computer desktop just in case one of HPs drops by. And do one or two small task-related actions once in 10-15 minutes.

Step #12

If you have not done a thing during a day resort to:

  • Asking for a moment before the end of working day for one of HPs so it can serve as a reference for stand-up update next day.
  • Being late for stand-up next day. Don’t feel obliged to provide update in written form and if one is requested mention you were working on the thing, got some issues and will continue working on the thing.
  • Taking ONE day off. Crucial is to provide delegation instructions for as many HPs as possible (ideally personal ones to have greater chance of responding). Otherwise you will be forced to continue working on the task where you left off.

On a serious note:

There have to be peer evaluation mechanism of some sort in teams.

Though it has to be of right balance, cause it, if pushed to extreme, could lead to behavior for sake of evaluation points (Nosedive_Black_Mirror is good example of it).

Otherwise persons with traits as above will continue coming and staying in teams.

So it is indeed dilemma.